QUOTES FROM MY LIFE 3

Starring:
Tommy
Sister Ashley
Mom
Dad
Grandmother
Best Friend Matt

**ALL THESE QUOTES ARE 100% REAL!!! EVERYTHING WRITTEN HERE WAS REALLY SAID IN MY DAILY EXCHANGES WITH MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS**

Dad is chopping wood.
Tommy: Hey, need any help?
Dad: Yes!
Tommy: Fuuuuck....I was hoping you'd say no..........well, im not helping. (walks away)
Dad: Thanks, I appreciate it.

Dad: What the hell is that smell?
Ashley: It smells like feet.
Tommy: It's my ass!
Ashley: Gross!
Dad: It smells like a mix of ass and feet.
Tommy: Yeah, you might be on to something there...

Dad: I'm a Mit Romney fan.
Tommy: I know.
Dad: He'll run again.
Matt: You really like him?
Dad: Yes, I do.
Matt: Would u let him fit it inside you if he asked?
Dad: What?!
Matt: Let him stick it in you. Yoooou know what I mean. Just Once.
Tommy: Just Once!
Dad: You're fucking sick!

Throws an empty bag of chips on the ground.
Tommy: Fuck Al Gore and the environment!
Dad: Why do u guys like to litter?!
Tommy: It's a spirtual experience.
Matt: It helps us reach nirvana.

At Taco Bell. Eating the new 'volcano taco'.
Tommy: Fuck...this fucking volcano taco is hot!
Mom: Drink some water.
Tommy: Ahhh..it feels like its erupting in my mouth!!! THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!! Ahhh...

Ashley: Byeeee, im leaving.
Tommy: Have fun, Ash...remember if you're going to have sex, make sure u have it with women. You don't want to be a knocked up teen welfare bitch.